I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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