so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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