He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
