Dual....:-)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
