He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
