I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Let's get the cat blown out
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
