Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
