the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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