Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I want her autograph on my taint
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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