I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
