We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
