that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The struggles of a small town man whore
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize