I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
