sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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