I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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