At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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