Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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