guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize