she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I want to walk on stilts...naked
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
