whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
