Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
