Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize