i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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