God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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