I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
