you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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