why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
