Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
