Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize