how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
