I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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