I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
