he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
