is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
