help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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