i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
porn star boner night. come get it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
