I think my fart just growled at me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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