yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
