i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize