my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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