i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
