he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
