recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
