see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
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I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
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We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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