So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
