What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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