Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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