I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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