Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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