The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
