all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
