ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
