Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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