look no pants
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
