420 ftw
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize