Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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